Mia's International Adoption Story

As an adoptee, I have a unique and personal understanding of the notions of luck, fate, and privilege. I am so fortunate to have been born into a loving, well-off family, but at the same time, I am painfully aware that had I not been dropped off at the orphanage when I was newborn, I would be living an entirely different life as a young woman in rural China. While I know that I have accomplished so much in life due to my hard work and commitment, I also recognize that I would have never had access to such amazing opportunities had my mom not decided to wish upon a star and adopt me.

I was born in a rural southern province of China called the Hunan Province. After my mom, Kim, divorced her first husband, she still had a dream of becoming a mother. She had established a successful practice in law in Incline Village, Nevada, but she decided that she would move back home to where my grandparents lived in Northern Michigan to raise her daughter. So at 38 years old, she filed for adoption through the WACAP adoption agency for me.

I was raised by a single mom until I was around seven years old. My mom met my dad on a cruise ship. My dad is Portuguese and my mom is mainly of Irish decent. We are quite literally an international family. 

I always knew I was adopted, but I think I first began asking questions about it when I was five or six years old. I remember asking what my "real mom" looked like, and I would draw pictures of her with details about what she might have worn. It wasn't until a couple months later when I realized there was a difference between my biological "mother" and my adoptive "mom".

It was difficult growing up in a virtually all-white community as a kid. I was lucky enough that my mom adopted me with a group of seven other families from China. Until I was around 10 years old, we had annual or biannual reunions that allowed me to spend some time with girls who shared the same experiences as me. Now I'm friends with them on social media, so it's cool to keep up with their lives in that way.

My mom's decision to adopt is the truest example of how a single action can cause a huge effect. After she adopted me, my aunt and two of my mom's co-workers adopted young girls from other countries (two from China!).

Violet's Adoption Story - Healing Through Music

Violet is a transracial adoptee and musician living in Washington, DC. She currently plays with Veve & The Rebels. Violet shared an adoption story unlike anything I have ever heard. The beauty of the story is that she found healing through music.

“Music is what has kept me sane throughout the years, I've been making and loving music for as long as I can remember. I grew up in Massachusetts and there were very few black people there, mostly Caribbean, which I am not, so I learned more about their culture. My mom sought out other black people for me to be friends with, but they were mostly all mixed and had white moms, so they didn't know much about being "black" either. I didn't learn about black American culture until I left for college. I was told that black people didn't adopt black children. I didn't even think it was possible to be adopted by black people. 

I was adopted from Texas at 3 months old. I had a closed adoption at first, but then my birth mom started to contact me through the adoption agency so it turned into an open one. Finding your birth family is a difficult experience. I wondered my whole life who my dad was.  Once I found my paternal family I felt more complete. I have 6 other siblings through both my biological mom and dad. I have no siblings through my adopted mom. I don't necessarily think I was a baby that needed a home; I think I was given to someone who wanted a baby.

When it came time to go to Howard University, I was afraid, mostly of the other black people, cause I didn't know what to expect. I only knew stereotypes off of TV or had negative interactions with the black kids who called me an Oreo or whatever. I feel like I was robbed of my culture and my life and it's been a rude awakening coming into the world and actually being a black person. I think in some ways, I had the protection of whiteness. My (white) mom would stand up for me in racist situations and her words were taken seriously and something was done. Now I see that this isn’t always how things are for black people in the US. When I found this out, it changed me, it gave me something to write songs about. Somewhat as an observer, learning about black culture in a new way for the first time. And also as someone who had a different kind of black experience growing up. That's what my music reflects in the folk and rock aspect of it, my "Transracial upbringing,"  while the lyrics speak of the black experience and struggle for freedom.  

I found my idenity when I moved to Washington, DC. I think of myself as kind of an indie black girl. I play the guitar and always listened to rock and alternative music, so once I found other black people like that at Howard University I felt like I fit in more. The anxiety left when I could be in class with black people and not worry about being the only black person in the room. I think having white and black people telling me that I wasn't really black, that I was really white on the inside, is what made me decide that I was really black, no matter what that meant.

When I was young, I was able to travel and see black and brown people in other places, that affirmed for me that there was a world outside the world I was in. It helped me make the choice to leave Massachusetts and move to DC. I grew up in an Episcopalian church and was used to going on mission trips and volunteering, so when I got to Howard, I was interested in continuing that work. Leaving campus helped me learn the city and meet people from DC. I helped start a music collective out of the house I was living in my senior year.  We began by giving free music lessons and hosting networking events for artists. That's how I started to really meet people from DC and get involved in the local arts scene. I soon found that there was a vibrant black community nestled within this scene. During that time I was looking for answers about who I was as a black person and I was able to find them by becoming a part of this community.

At this time, I started slowly, writing songs and learning the guitar. All the while I was going through the process of finding my father's family because I now had a son. I searched for them because I didn't want him to not know where he came from the way I did. Writing music during that time helped me cope with the ups and downs of that process. I wrote the song “Say,” sitting in my father's old room in Texas once I had finally found my family.  I learned from my dads friends that he was a rapper in his younger years when hip hop was still new. They told me he tried to learn the guitar and was "eclectic too." I got to play with my great uncle and cousins and for my great grandmother and family. Now, when I play shows in Texas, my family comes out to support me. They don't care that I'm different, they are just happy to have me home. And I am happy to have something I can share with them to say look, here's what I've been doing all this time that I've been gone.” #IAMHEARTPICKED

Bethany's Adoption Story

My name is Bethany and I was adopted in Columbus, Ohio but raised in Cincinnati, Ohio. I have always been told about my adoption. As a child, we celebrated my birthday and also the day my adoption was finalized. I was told around 12 years of age that I had siblings. 

I had a closed adoption, but one of the people who worked for the agency I was adopted from knew my biological family very well. They went to the same church. My mom (Linda) always brought me back to visit her and I would learn little pieces of information about my family. Because the adoption was closed, legally she couldn't tell me much, but she was my connection to where I came from.

The adoption agency I was adopted from had a Black Adoption Fair every year. This one particular year, when I was 5, we couldn't make it. The person who knew my family had put their Children's Church Choir on the program for the fair. Because we didn't come, they sent the program to my mother. She held on to it for years. When I turned 21, my mother gave me a packet that I would need to fill out in order to receive my original birth records. I wasn't ready. Right before my 22nd birthday, she gave me the program from the adoption fair that she had been holding on to all of those years, and told me to call the church to see what they knew about my family. I called. I told the church secretary my story. She knew exactly who my family was and said that she would have the pastor call me back. When he called back, I explained my story and he gave my information to my biological, maternal grandfather. He called me back the next day. In the day following, I talked to him, found my oldest sister, and spoke to my biological mother on the phone. We made arrangements to meet on my 22nd birthday. I went to Columbus with my mother and my grandmother to meet them in person. 

My adoption has affected my life in every aspect. As much as I have had loving parents who provided me with the best all of my life, there was still a piece of me that was missing. I needed to know where I came from, who I look like, why I do the things I do. Finding my biological mother, all 9 of my maternal siblings, my grandfather, and my only uncle and his family, has given me the opportunity to understand myself. I love them with all of my heart, and it was not until I met them, that I was able to start the process of healing. 

On January 20, 2016 it will be 9 years that I have met my biological family. My biological mother (Jennifer) passed away on June 27th of this year. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have had her in my life. She made a lot of mistakes, but through all of the ups and downs, she let me know every chance that she got how much she loved me. I will be forever grateful to her for my life. She could have aborted me, but she loved me enough to give me a chance with a family who would take care of me and love me, as she couldn't do at the time. The search for my biological father is still in process. Jennifer gave me clues of what she remembered about him to help me with that search. Her impact on me was life changing. Her death made me realize that God is always perfect in his plan. I am beyond blessed to have had 2 moms that love me unconditionally. The both of them make me whole. #IAMHEARTPICKED